I overestimated my inner strength

I've never been one to let others get me down. I've always made my own joy, and I seldom find such a dark spot that I cannot lighten it with the bleach of my spirit. Yet I find myself staring painfully at this growing blotch of the blackest ink and for the life of me, though I can hold the borders from running too fast and too far, cannot even smudge away a bit of the color in this stain. It mocks me and tells me I am foolish to believe in the inborn goodness of people and the silver lining. It laughs at my love-the-world attitude and points out just how far away those stars I'm reaching for really are. It is the ugliest and worst spot of blackest black I have ever encountered, and if I could just figure out the right combination to blot it out for good I think everything would be just fine. Everything could be just fine. Everything might be fine if I just.... everything, yes everything is fine.....