Allow me to introduce myself

Let's start with the elementary basics.
My name is Courtney Francesca Mason. I am a twenty-something mother to a little boy named Gavin. I live with his father, my boyfriend, in a small town where I continuously struggle to find my niche. Life imitating Life. I am a Christian, though my path towards the light has grassed over a bit. In fact, my intended course has really hidden itself entirely among the weeds. I am unemployed, unmarried, and unhappy in this place. It's time to start again. Thus, my blog; A New Beginning.
Over the last few years it seems my life has slowly pried the reigns from my own hands. And though there were times when I'd think 'Hey, I think my grip on things is loosening a bit', the loss of control went largely unnoticed until I realized with sudden panic that I was on a runaway stallion that just wouldn't listen to me.
Well, crazy horse, I am ready to be your master once again! So here is the deal... I'm starting over. And I know it won't be easy or the way I intended. That little path I started following a few years ago is no longer an option for me, so I am forging a new one. It should be interesting.

Phase One... High school ended for me and the world was full of possibilities. Things started out as I had intended, at a university with my best friend for a roomie. I wanted to practice law, so there I was on the prelaw track at Georgia Southwestern.
Semester one was great. I was in the honors program and finding my classes easier than I ever could have imagined. College life was great, a party, and no adults... Of course, this was because I was supposed to be learning to be an adult. It didn't happen. I wasn't ready to make my own choices, so the ones I made landed me between a rock and a really fun place I didn't want to leave. Eventually, I dropped out, causing the heartbreak of my mother and those who had so much stock in my future. It really was an uncharacteristic move. I gave up.
Fast forward four years later. I lost my job, and during my struggle to re-enter the workforce finally realized that without a degree I will only continue to work at places that make me dread the alarm in the morning. I've really known all along that teaching was my calling, and after a college english course proved to be my strong point I decided I wouldn't make a half-bad english teacher. My technical composition could use a little work, but hey, that's what school is for!
I applied for Darton's B term, and if all goes as planned I will be starting in October.

Phase Two... I am a child of God. I have not strayed from his light. Yes, I have made poor choices that I know He does not approve of. I know that there are aspects of my life that are disappointing to Him. However, I also know that through every dark hour He has been by my side. I have felt Him in deep soulful ways I never knew possible until I got lost in these woods. I know right from wrong. I know that where I am now isn't where He wants me to be... but more importantly, I know He loves me right where I am. Still, I owe Him more than what I have given. Lately, I've been reading the stories of the Bible, from beginning to end to my son, Gavin. And I find myself learning and relating these stories to my life like I was never able to before. So I'm getting back into my Lord, and showing Him that I am serious about knowing more about Him.
Something I think that is hard for others, especially Christians, to understand is that I didn't turn my back on God. In my sin, I did not stop praying or turn to the devil. I did not curse Jesus or His gift of life. I just made some mistakes, and I am not ashamed. My choices have made me stronger, and actually brought me closer to God. We've been through a lot together, He and I. We are like a pair of mountain climbers, pulled together by the difficulty of the journey. I've really bonded with God and felt his realness, so I am grateful for my tribulations. Anyway, this is to say, don't judge my journey... but feel free to observe, learn, identify, and even give me advice. But by no means are you welcome to condemn me; because at the end of the day, when my head hits the pillow and my mind is winding down, it's me and my God. We're talking about the day, the future, the past, the possibilities, my fears, my desires, His plan, and YOU are not invited to that conversation.

So this is me. This is the beginning of my journey back to where I'm meant to be,where I want to be. You're welcome to walk along side and experience this. I am a Christian, a mother, a woman.... and this is me... becoming better.