I feel like I am abandoning my poor Honey Sunshine. I have been researching daycares in the area, and tomorrow I am going to visit one that I was drawn to. On paper they sound great. There are multiple age-divided classes, and the infant room currently has only three other children with two staff members exclusive to the babies. It is a learning center, so they teach babies and preschool age kids to prepare them for school which is something I was looking for. They also offer hot lunch for when Gavin is older, and meals are designed by a nutritionist.
That's all great... but I feel like I am abandoning my poor Honey Sunshine, as I earlier stated. I know I have a valid reason for starting him in daycare. I'm taking 12 credits during b-term! I just found out that in the 8 weeks of school my history class requires twelve 4-6 page papers on top of the 5 exams during the course. That's only one class! I know I can't watch my super active baby and do well on these assignments. I don't want to stick him in his bouncer or jumperoo and go about my business. He needs stimulation.
I know it will be a good experience for him, but I fear that he will be confused as to why I am gone so much. I am afraid he will have a hard time adjusting to a new environment or even forget who I am! What if he likes the women at the daycare better than me?
I can't help but feel like a bad mother. I wish i could just keep him with me at all times. I know it's going to help me to be a better mother, because I can finish my degree quickly and get good grades without distraction. Then I will be able to get a job quickly, and make us some cash monies! Still, I am apprehensive. Words of wisdom are welcome at this time.
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